Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
