What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
