I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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