You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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