Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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