yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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