the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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