Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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