maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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