my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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