i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize