; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how can u be prego again
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
