so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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