sorry about calling you the devil all night.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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