Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
