There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
