i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
