He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
