I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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