I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
