Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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