woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
