seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
