you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
