she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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