I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
