He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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