Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
