it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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