He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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