I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
