is your mom at the bar?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
