I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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