I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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