so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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