I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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