i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
