But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize