ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
