Betty ford says i'm here all night
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
smell my finger.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize