shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
