what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
