i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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