my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
