Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
