You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
