We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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