Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
