for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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