wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
