Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
