So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
