going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
