You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
