Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
