I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
