Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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