I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
