This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
