I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
