i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
